Five Things I Hope My Grown Up Kids Know

Seven months. That’s how long I have until my youngest heads out to his first semester of college. I’m getting prepped emotionally, but there are a few things I would like all four of my kids to know. My children range in ages from 18-27, in a variety of “grown up” stages of life. My first born and oldest son is 27, married, with an amazing wife and delightful baby girl. They are both entrepreneurs and own several businesses. My second born, a daughter, 24, is in her third and last year of physical therapy school, engaged to be married to a fantastic man who is in his last year of medical school. Third, we have my youngest daughter, 19, who is a sophomore at a private university on the other side of the country, pursuing her passion to work with differently abled kids and young adults. And lastly, my baby and youngest son, 18, is a senior in high school, dual enrolling at a local community college. Deposits have been paid to a state university about 3 hours away, where he will be attending in the fall, with the intent to study ecology and hang out in nature and play with God’s critters.

As you can see, all different, all at different stages of their lives, but I think these pearls of wisdom from my heart are applicable to all my kids, regardless of age, marital or career status. 

• I trust the decisions you make about your life.  If you want to change schools, quit school, change majors, change careers, move across the county, start relationships, end relationships, buy a house, live in an RV and travel around the country, I trust that you will make a decision that is right for you!  Your dad and I worked hard to lay a foundation of passion, discernment, and confidence in you, and I believe we have.  I know you do not take these decisions lightly, and I will always be here to help you talk through the decisions, big or small.  But, I will never try to sway you or convince you of a certain choice.  I trust you.  You have the maturity and intelligence to make a decision and stand by that decision. 

• I will always be here for you.  Whether the decisions you make in your life are a great success or don’t pan out the way you had hoped, I will always be here for you. A celebration, a party, a toast with a cold beer, I will be here.  A shoulder to cry on, a sounding board, an advisor, or just a quiet place to rest, I will be here.  I won’t try to claim credit, or dampen your spirit.  I won’t fix it, or fix you, or fix your situation.  That’s up to you.  But, I will be here for you. 

• Other people’s opinions of you are none of your business.   I have heard this multiple times, and not sure the original source, but I love this quote!  And, this is one I struggle with on a personal level daily and continually work on, but making decisions about your life based on the opinion of other people is crazy.  I made college major decisions, career decisions, and major life decisions with other people’s opinions in mind.  What the heck was wrong with me?!  Don’t be like me.  You are the only one who lives with the successes and failures of your decisions, so you are the only one whose opinion should matter! (Unless of course you have a spouse.  Include them!) And, that goes for me too!  My opinion, when it is all said and done, doesn’t matter. This is YOUR life! See also #1 above. 

• Collect experiences, not “things”. You all have adventurous spirits, so I don’t think this will be a challenge, but don’t get comfortable in your little bubble.  Stretch yourself, see new cultures, have a beer in every state and country you visit.  Make travel goals, save for trips, do your research, go alone, with your spouse, with your kids.  See the world, hang out in your backyard.  Go on picnics and go on fancy dinners.  Take a bike ride through your neighborhood and take naps in a hammock on the beach.  Go to Disney World and camp in the Black Hills in South Dakota.  You will never be disappointed by these experiences you create for you and your family. 

• I will always cry. You already know this about me, and it will never change.  I cry when I read the Mother’s Day and Birthday cards you give me, I cry when you graduate, or do something awesome.  I cry when you are hurt or sad. I cry when you are happy. I will always cry when you leave this house, whether you are leaving to go on spring break or moving across the country and I won’t see you for months.  But, you need to know, I’m not crying because I’m sad.  I’m crying because my love for you and my pride in the men and women you have become is so overwhelming, it tumbles out of my heart and through my eyes.